The 'Girls'

left to right: Anita, Mona, Me, Fera, Titie, Oki

I've been friends with these girls..*ehm*..I mean, ladies..since we were 20 years younger..hahaha..that's how old we are..
We took the same major in university..Architecture
There are actually 7 of us..
Me, Fera, Oki, Mona, Titie, Anita, and Shita.
3 out of  7 , Me - Titie - Mona, are married to our uni sweethearts...cieee..hahahaha..
Who also took Architecture..
And have been dating them since we were in uni
The others, though they got married with someone they dated after we graduated,
they blend in with us smoothly..as we are such a nice bunch of ladies.. :P

So, we always keep in contact..
Though after graduation, we went our own ways..
Some stayed in Bandung, the others went to Jakarta..for a while
Today, everyone, except for Shita who lives in Bali, lives in Jakarta, though one further than others..
Anita lives in East of Jakarta, while the others live in South Jakarta.
And  it's more difficult to meet up when you live far apart in Jakarta than when you live in different cities!

I got married first, have 4 kids
I think no one's gonna top me on that one.. :P
Then Titie, Mona, Shita, and Anita..
Titie have 1, Mona - Shita - Anita have 2.
After that, a long pause..then Fera got married..
then, a slightly longer pause..Oki completed it..
Both of them haven't got kids yet..

We have our own activities as well..

Oki, is obviously the busiest one, office work wise..
There's always meetings, presentations, business trips..

Fera has been working in a bank for forever..
So she has her hectic times as well..

Titie and Mona once worked in offices as well, Interior Design..
They both now have their own business from home..
Titie in clothing and Mona in chocolate & cookies..
So, they supposedly would be the ones who are more adjustable in time..
But with all the routines with the kids, it's another whole story..

Shita has her own business as well in Design Consultant, in Bali

Anita just recently, 3 months ago, quit her job as an architect..
And now she's a full time mommy..

Me?
Long story..and you can always check my profile anyway

Oki and Anita's  husband, Nakup

left to right: Titie, Mona's husband - Iif, Anita

With all that, we still try to keep in touch..
We definitely went to each other weddings and make color coordinated clothes for those weddings..
We try to come every time any of us gave birth..
We come to big birthday parties of each other's kids.

Before, we always get together whenever it's someone's birthday..
Then, due to each busyness, we gathered the ones who has birthday close to another..
But lately, even that was too difficult to do..

Back then, when we talk about meeting up, we always wanted it to be complete.
But then, there will always be 2 or 3 of us that couldn't make it..then, it's canceled..


Well, I've been bit annoyed by that..
OK, a lot..

So, I decided to meet up anyway..a not-complete member..
Sometimes only 5, 4, 3..even only 2 of us..
And it doesn't have to be for a certain occasion..

Around 2 months ago,
We've been planning to meet up..all of us..
But there would always be someone or more that couldn't make it..
Due to work or family things..

I've had it..
And I came up with the idea to get together at my place
Saturday. Complete. With all of our husbands and kids.
And it happened! Yeay!
Well, except for Shita, that's been missing from our bbm group for quite a while..
And anyway, she is in Bali..so it wouldn't have been possible.

It was fun. We had a blast..
Catching up on stories, teasing each other, talking about the kids..
While eating and reminiscing..
Because it was at  my place, there was no time limit..
It was from 11ish up until maghrib..hahahaha..

So, we decided to do this regularly..
Like once in a month or two..
Moving to each other houses every time..

*Yeah..right..I doubt it.. :P We'd just better enjoy it when it happens..

With the kids

Three evenings ago..

It was my day off from work..

So, it’s time for girls evening out!!

Turns out,
wanting to get together with old friends
Needed more effort than I thought it would..

1. I forgot that that day I have to input my students score to the computer at the office..

2. Just right before I was leaving to the office, my principal called and told me that one of my student’s mom wanted to talk to me..

3. So, as soon as I arrived at the office, I called her..and it was a looooong one way talk..

4. Finished being shout at, I still gotta input the scores..

5.Leaving all the commotion at the office, on my way to Senayan City, I missed a turn..

6. And my rareness driving at night, made me missed another turn..

7. *Can’t give anymore excuses..because at this point I just felt damn stupid..* I missed the third turn JUST going to Senayan City..

8. So, just imagine how further away I’d got carried away from Senci..and to made it more perfect..my gas indicator starts to turn red..GREAT!

9. Finally, there they were, my dear friends..and the moment we spent together was priceless..
*Although it was a relatively short moment..caused by my unfortunate journey to get there.. plus, we hadn’t met for quite some time..so we couldn’t catch up with all our stories..haha*

Still, spending time with best friends just can’t go wrong..love them!!
*Even though all the others before that went all wrong..hihi*

….

….

10. Oops..forgot this last embarassing time..
Because I had to fill up my gas, I went to a different way than my usual..
and..OK..I think you can guess what happened next..
Yes, I got lost again!!!!!!!

Oh, well..my husband had a nice laugh that night listening to my story..

(My Definition of a) Best Friend

This is why I don't have what you so called a best friend..

I've got plenty of friends..

Close friends, if you wanna call it..

But there's no such thing as a best friend..

Well, maybe it's a matter of perception..

I always see it as you stand by your best friend no matter what..

And I could never do that..

I consider someone's a friend to you

If you have a mutual thing going on between you two..

When you tell them everything and your friend does the same thing in return..

All the deepest darkest secret,

All the things that you're proud of and All that you're ashamed of..

All your big moments and you're everyday 'it's nothing' stuffs..

In all the moments, the ups and the downs..

And everything in between..

Nothing to hide from..

No need to make excuses..

Because you're friends no matter what..

And as a friend

You be there..

You listen..

You don't judge..

You give your opinion, suggestion, advice, point of view..

Whatever is it..

Which is, your best one..

Which is, what you will do as if it's happening to you..

Be in their position..

And feel what they're feeling..

Because you do!

So, you tell them to face it..

Handle it the best way..

To do the right thing!

You do stand by them,

whenever they're right..

But when they're wrong..

You definitely don't do that..

you remind them,

Enlightened them,..

And they don't get defensive..

No hard feelings..

Because they know that you're doing is for their own good

So, feel happy for anyone who's got (my definition of a) best friend..

Stick by them..

You need each other in this world..

In good and bad..

More than you know..

Can You Keep a Secret?

Last night,
Out of the blue,
a friend of mine,
told her story,
ask for some advice,
and make me promise..
not to tell anyone.

Actually,
This wasn't the first time
someone did it..

I don't know why,
But I always feel flattered
Whenever someone trust me
with their stories..

For the one who knows me,
I'm this loud person..
Talks loud, laughs loud,..
And if I'm in the position
of someone that wants to tell a story..
I'll be the last person that I'll pick!
lol..
Don't you just think that
I'm going to blab it to everyone
with my big mouth
the first time I get the chance to?
lol..

But, maybe..
Because I think that way,
It makes me aware..
Makes me cautious..
for keeping the secret,
for listening to their stories,
for knowing when, what, and how to talk and give advice..
for remaining their trust in me..

It's been happening for sometime now..
So I think it's not a glitch.
It started in Junior High..
Reached its peak in High School..
Some in College..
and now at work.

I always ask the ones who share their stories,
the reasons why they're telling me..
Just to know,
how I have to react..

And their reasons vary..

Is it my patience?
Because I consider myself impatient..
Is it my willing to listen?
Because, as you can see, I'm loud..
Is it because I don't judge people?
Because, sometimes, I do analyze them, what and why they do things..
Is it my good advice?
Because, actually my advices basically are all just logic..

Maybe..
It's because of my way of living..
I'm a very relax person..
Most of the time, I can accept,
what happens around me..
Most of the time, I consider,
that people always try to do
what they think is right..
their best at that time, in that situation..
So, most of the time, I try to understand,
and most of the time, I believe,
that everything happens for a reason..

Maybe..
It's because of my compassion..
Most of the time, I want to do something..
If my friends are in trouble..
Sometimes maybe what I do is nothing for some people..
or it's just small stuffs for others..
But I do it with all my heart..
No strings attached..
I always try to give my best..

Most of the time, I get emotionally involve..
when my friends go through something..
Even though sometimes,
the case seemed so bizarre..
or the case sounded so stupid..
I always try to give my all..
Because I know its important for them.

Hopefully, after talking to me..
They'll find a way to solve their problems..
They'll see with another perspectives on seeing at their problems..
They'll release their anger, their sadness, their frustration..

Or at least..
They'll feel that they have a friend..
Someone that they can rely on..
Someone that they can depend on..
Someone trustworthy..
Someone who cares..
A shoulder to cry on..

So, just spill it out guys!
I'm all ears..

That's What Friends Are For..

How we click with someone, is strange...don't you think?
How did you end up with your groups of friends?

I started having a group of friends,
when I was in elementary school..
Sari, Mona, Theresia , and Caroline.

Back then, as I remember,
we got together because we're the not so popular ones..
Me, for one thing, was this fat, short haired, not the girlie pretty type,
who was behind in school, because I came back from the US
in the third quarter of first grade,
and got serious problems with the lessons here..
So, we're not one of the pretty ones,
nor we are the smart ones, nor the ones that are good in sports..
Which are really important aspects to be popular,
when you're in elementary..
We're the average ones,
with lack self confident.
It lasted until we finished elementary school..
Some of us just got contacted recently..thanks for FB..
But we just were too young back then,
to get click again nowadays..

When I got to Junior High..
I ended up with such a big group of friends..
I, getting tired of being fat and being called names, got slimmer..
I did everything I could do secretly inside my bedroom,
from running, skipping, playing the hoola hoops, until skipping meals..
But, that isn't enough when you're in Junior High..
The popular ones now are the ones that are talented..
Back in my days, talented in modern dancing...lol..
Also the populars are they who's got the latest, coolest, most happening stuffs

So, I got grouped with some girls,
who's not in that category..
Dian, Mona, and Marlene..
But then, it grew bigger..
We even gave a name to the group and make member cards...lol
Decy, Camelia, Lisa N, Lisa C, Lia, Airin, Ingrid..
Almost all of them are still in contact through FB
But only 2 - 3 of them still clicks..

In the third grade, Junior High
I had to move with my parents to Makassar..
Even though it was just for a year,
I've got really close with a bunch of friends there also..
Actually, I came back to that position again..
A new student, from Jakarta, intimidating for the popular girls...LOL
I turned out not so bad, back then..
I was way slimmer, grew my hair long, fair skin...not so bad at all..LOL

But I still don't go with the popular ones..
Me and my self esteem..
So, I grouped again with the not so popular ones..
Naomi, Joan, Jane, Ully, Frietje..
I've lost contact with all of them, except for Joan in FB

High School,
I insisted to go back to Jakarta..
So, there I was
Back in my old school again..
And most of them are kids I know since elementary school
Got to be grouped again with
some of my friends in Junior High, that are still left..
Mona, Decy, and a new student Yanty..

But, In High School
I got really clicked with my group with the boys..
I wasn't the one that's popular among the boys..
but really being one of the boys.
Maybe, back then..
I was getting so comfortable with myself,
I really don't care with what the girls think anymore..
And being friends with boys is the best way to enjoy that..

Boys just don't talk behind your back,
they say it right to you..
Most of the boys, don't sweat on the way they look..
or at least they don't show it..
And boys are silly..
They'll do the silliest pranks to one another..
they do it for fun..
and they don't get offended easily even on worse pranks..
Love being friends with the boys..
Leonard, Alex, Erwin, Jimmy, Jemmy, Richard, Reinhard, Hengky..

And there was this other group of boys I got closed to also..
It was the ending of high school and all..
We lived near..
So, If we went to places..parties, discos, courses, and others..
we went together..
Erwin, Dani, Vericko, Andy

Aaah.. the things with being friends with boys are..
now, that they're all happily married..
you just can't communicate the way you used to do it back then..
So, I don't know either we still click or not..
Well, some of them are in my FB..
and I still chat with 1 - 2 of them.

University was fun
I think, when it comes to university,
it's all about academic stuffs..
I was the one with the average scores for important subjects..
and got better scores for not so important ones...lol
I got grouped with girls with those sort of category..
Titie, Oki, Mona, Anita, Fera, Shitta..

Oh! Got a group of male friends also..
They're the one who got crushes, who admires,
or who thinks are truly - madly - deeply in love..
with my girl friends ( from my group ).. lol
So, their name will be confidential..
Guys, you know who you are...lol..

Having 4 kids also got me more group of friends..
The mommies..
So, it's mommies stuff..
Kids, school, cooking, shopping, husband (?..^_^),..
From my first son schools for sure..
Playgroup,
Vira, Santy, Nita, Reta, Faira, Mita, Evi, Joice
Since kindergarten,
Uni, Reina, Mba Lia, Mba Dewi, Lilis, Dina, Yanty, Sri, Yety,..
My second son's playgroup..
Joice, Mba Hani, Yuli, Niti, Sisca

At work, usually we get more individualistic
Thankfully, now I get the most fun environment with my co-workers..
We joke around between classes..
We have our laugh every day at break time on ^
We hang out on report book day..
We hang out Friday night after payday..lol..
Mietta, Andy, Azura, Uti, Pras, Sita, Wiku, Indah, Agus, Mike, Winnie, Citra, Vera..

But, despite of the reason why we got grouped with others..
In a group of friends,
we don't mind what kind of persons they are, do we?
Off course, we click more with some than with others in a group..
But still..
We just accept them the way they are..
We stand by them through good and bads..
Laugh with them, and cry with them..
Hold their hands through rough times..
Cheer with them on great times..
Defend them every time..
Support them all the way..

But every relationships got their ups and downs..
Every now and then
Things just doesn't always go the way we want to..
Clashes don't just happen with the one we mostly don't get along with..
Clashes mostly happens with the one we're closest to..

Hopefully we're mature enough to get through it..
After all, we've been through everything before..

Hopefully, every mistakes that we've ever done to each other..
wasn't by purpose..
wasn't meant to offend each other..
was just a misunderstanding..

And hopefully we find it in our hearts..
To forgive and to forget..

Friendship is forever..
Thanks friends!!!
Love u guys..all of you..muach2

Friendship

Working so hard on this piece..
So many things to be said..
So many kinds of friendship that I have..
So many special moments that I've been through..

So many friends that I have..

The not so good ones..
The good ones...
The best...

Don't know where to start..

There are these friends..
Who you share your everyday life with..
They are the ones that are around you almost every day..
They are the ones who'll be the first one to help..
They are the ones that are your place
To be crazy with..
Laugh..
Hang Out..
Share everyday stories..
..your stress-free friends ^_^

There are others friends..
Who knows you since forever..
They are the ones that share your silly moments..
They are the ones who knows your monkey loves..
They are the ones who had done anything without thinking..
Just to hang out with you..
Reminiscing..
..your bff ^_^

And there are..them..
Doesn't matter how long you've known each other..
Doesn't matter if they're not around you every time..
But you just..Click!

the ones that trust you and you trust them..
the ones that need you and you need them..
the ones that you remember and remembers you on special moments..
the ones that go through hurricane just to be there for you..
..body, mind and soul
the ones that just strangely know what's going on with you..
the ones that can sense your feelings..again in a strange way..
..your true friends

Love all of you guys..
Thanks for being a friend..

mia, july 2009