Aaawww..so sweet..

It's a bit embarrassing..

OK.

Confession: I'm still so into the high school romance type of movie kinda thing..

I know!

Total embarrassment!

I don't give the damnest thing about the girly friendship, domination stuff..

I'll give the cool-mommy reaction..

I-know-it's-a-serious-matter-for-you concern..

I'll-stand-by-you-for-all-the-decisions-that-you-make attitude..

But deep down inside, you'll-grow-over-it feeling..

And there's-gonna-be-more-in-this-world-for-you assurance..

But! The boy ignorance that caught the girl attention thing..

The girl effort not to fall for the boy thing..

The boy liking the 'different' girl thing..

The 'different' girl gets the popular boy thing..

Really gets to me..

Oh dear me..

I get butterflies..

Whenever the boy talks to the girl and doesn't even realized about their feelings..

I nearly fainted..

Whenever the boy finally tells the girl about his feeling..

My heart stops a beat..

Whenever the girl expresses the same feeling that she kept in her for a long time..

I melt..

When they finally found each other..

I don't care, How cheesy it sounded like..

How such a bunch of crap it looked like..

I still fall for it! I keep on reminding myself..

It's a movie..

Unrealistic..

Make-believe..

Fantasy land..

So what! I want to be lied to..

I get my realistic life everyday..

So, The more mushy love..

The more"..aaaww" factor..

The more "soo..sweet.." epression..

The better..

Hahahaha..

Gimme more..please..

Finding Yourself..

Your peaceful place..

Have you found it?..

A place that you can find yourself..

Do we really gotta go across the world to do that?..

Hahaha.. Definitely! If u got the money.. :P

What a perfect excuse to find yourself..hihihi..

Call me stupid..

but How could you lose yourself in a place that u've never been to?

Hellooo..hahaha..

Well, I think the point is to getaway from all the routinity..

Away from work, From your kids, From your spouse, From everything and everyone that you know..

Hmmm.. Ok, let's rob a bank and go across the world then!.. Hahaha..

And, if you'd find yourself when you were somewhere out there..

If you get back home, will you lose yourself again?

Big possiblity, No..

Because you didn't find yourself at those places..

It's the experience..

The things that you do..

The people that interacted with you..

That made you find yourself..

So.. Let's try this again..

Fresh thoughts..

Focus!!

I think, You just have to open up yourself as wide as possible..

Try everything!

Things that have never crossed your mind before..

Interact with everyone!

Don't judge people and think that you're on a different level with them..

Read, browse,..

The world is in your hands..

Find a time in your everyday routine to do that..

Even if it's just for a moment..

Hmmm.. That's more like it..

It's making more sense now

A bit more realistic..

More doable..

And definitely more affordable.. Hihihi..

Let's do this!!

*Post watching EPL.. :)

The Freedom to Express Yourself..

In my humble opinion..

It's a good thing..

When you can express how you feel through words..

Either talk about it..

Or write about it..

When you're younger, And you're full with all these feelings..

Either you let it out passionately..

Or you write it down a diary, a journal, a poem,..

Anything..

The couple or more first times..

It will just burst out..

Uncontrollable..

But the more often you do it..

You'll grow..

You'll get better..

You'll be more selective on the words that you use..

And the more thinking that you do,

The more controllable your feelings will be expressed..

You'll learn that..

Anger doesn't always have to be expressed by yelling, cursing, or using bad words..

And sadness doesn't always have to be expressed by crying..

It's a process that you have to go through..

Enjoy expressing your feelings!

*A mom of growing up kids in the new era of expressing feelings through facebook, twitter, blogs,...

We're Old, dude!!

Despite of his knowledge of the latest games, PS3, XBOX 360, Wii, PSP, Nintendo DX, and others..

My husband knowledge of the kids other interest nowadays is very minimum..

Hard for you to admit this ay..

But you're getting old.. Hihihi..

Well, I can't say that I always update their new things..

Though, I do am always around them, talking (slash interrogating), doing stuffs together, taking them to places (slash stalking)

Still, there are so many things happening altogether in one time..

And you're gonna miss 1 or 2 things..

Its not like we wait on them 24-7..do we?

Justifications..

"What song is this? It sounds to cheerful"

*Ayah, this is the Phineas and Ferb soundtrack...

"What flavor do you kids want? Chocolate?"

*Ayah, I want the jelly wave or the cola fire..

"Kak, what's 25 x 11?"

*275, ayah. I'm learning factorial and square roots now..

"Oh, you can bring something to play to school! What are you bringing? Bey blade? Hot Wheels?"

*Can I bring the laptop, bu?..

"What is your foot size kak? 36.5 or 37?"

*It's 39, bu..

Yup! The kids are growing right in front of your bare eyes!!

And as they grow, we get older..

And It's getting more difficult to catch up with them..

Gotta be more 'gaol' a bit..

Well, one day..

I think if you try too hard to be 'gaol', it will be really embarrassing..

So, just accept the fact that we are getting older..

We maybe are getting too old to hang out with them..

But our love will never get too old..

Ok..get a rest old-men and old-women.. :P

Learning How to Let Go..

Actually, I'm a full time type of mommy..

If I could choose and possible, I would definitely prefer being a full time mommy rather than anything else..

I really liked the feeling of being in control of the house, the kids..

I was enjoying it a lot!

If someone never has experienced being a full time housewife,

Some couldn't have known how preoccupying the job is..

It's a 24 hours, 7 days non-stop job!!

I was so good in taking / dropping off / picking up the kids..

To / from school..

To / from courses places..

I'm almost always on time..

I hardly ever missed even a day..

I knew by heart all of my kids schedule..

I'd put all the things they need to bring for projects at school on the top of my list..

And will run straight away to get or buy those things..

I kept track on everything they do..

Homework, exams, projects, events..

And I was on everything that goes with those activities..

When then I had to start working Even though it was a part time job..

All of those things went a bit wobbly..

Once in a while, they started to forget to make their homework

I couldn't go running straight away whenever they ask something to bring for their projects..

I sometimes lose track of their daily exams, and they forgot to study..

And other things..

Minors, but for me it was a very significant disappointment..

So, I tried to replace my existence I made written schedules..

I called in to check on their studying..

I caught up with their exams' material when they're in school, by making summaries..

But still, It didn't work as well as I expected..

By then, I started realizing..

That the kids were to depending on me..

They'd got carried away by me always being there for them..

And the thing is..

They're getting older..

They have to start realizing their responsibilities..

They have to start taking consequences of their action..

So..

Now, I'm starting to learn how to let go..

Though I don't totally letting it go..

It's more like a bit combination of both method..

By doing that..

Me, myself don't get to stressed out..

And the kids are little by little growing more independent..

*a learning process..

My New Joy in Life..

I met so many interesting people..

Despite all the trouble that comes along..

Actually, this thing is one of my Ups in teaching..

It happened as soon as the first day I taught..

The first day I taught..

There was this boy..

He's around 14 back then..

A very handsome young man..

And he stares at you, when you're teaching..

Hahaha..I felt a bit big-headed and sort of pedophillic up until the other teachers told me that he does that to everyone..including the male teacher..hahaha..

In my firsts younger classes,

On my first day, I made 3 students cry..

The first one, because he kept on losing his pencil..

The second one, because she was left behind when they were taking notes..

And the third one, because she lost the game and the other students were blaming her..

Hahaha..what a first day heh?

It's classic.. When you thought first day was bad..

It became worse.. Hahaha..

Well, not all of the time..

You get a mix of good days and bad..

That what makes teaching life colorful!!..to the max!!!

The students!!

All the different types of students..

From all the different age range..

From all the different backgrounds..

I love a semi-large class..

The right amount off students..

Yeah, it's the dream of every teacher..I think..

Too few students on one point could be boring..

Too many students could be uncontrollable..

But it all depends though..

On lots of things..

I feel challenged either when I get a small class or a large one..

Dealing with the amount of the students is one thing..

But dealing with special characters of students is something else..

When dealing with younger kids..

They really want to get your attention..

So, you'd better give your full attention first..

Rather than they start to do unimaginative stuffs to get your attention.. Hahaha..

They tend to touch, hug, and stuffs..

Sometimes it's adorable..

But sometimes it just becomes annoying.. Hahaha..

Especially, when they do it to get away with something..

Like unfinished work, or don't want to continue doing their work..

Yeah..yeah..nice try munchkins..

The pre-teens students are special as well..

Some of them really want to be treated as if they're not kids anymore..

They talk about their "girlfriend"..

They brag about their knowledge of bad words..

Or their courage to do bad things..

They seek attention by showing off their cool stuffs..

They underestimate the others who's younger then them..

Interesting phase..

For me, the teens are the most challenging ones..

We got to be more as their friend rather than being a teacher..

But you have to be cool enough for them to be considered as their friend..

Hahaha.. That's homework!

See!

That was only looking by their age differences..

When talking about different backgrounds..

And making them having different characters..

That's FUN!

There are the spoiled ones, the shy ones, the over confident ones, the attention seeker ones..

Countless..

And when you thought you've seen them all..

You'll be surprised! Every time..

FUN!!

Having a Blast..

Making Time..

I'm the keep on squeezing more things in my already full schedule type of person..

So for some people I'm pushy..

But for others, and me..myself, consider myself as effective..

There's just no excuse not to do something when it's still possible to do it..

I always run out of time..

There's always not enough time for things that I plan to do in a range of time..

So, I don't mind..

well, that's a bit harsh..

That sounds like I don't care..

it's more like..

I tolerate myself to make time for things that's on the way of me doing something..

SEKALIAN JALAN...

Even though, that will cost me being a bit late for the other things that's already planned..

Or making me running from one place to another..

doing from one thing to the other..

But most of the time, it's a possible thing to do..

Maybe it's caused by adrenaline rush..

Hahaha..how boring my life is!!

Getting adrenaline rush due to doing things out of schedule..

So I get annoyed whenever someone just can't make time for something that's counted as important or very important..

And I don't mean work..

The time that you spend for working is un-negotiable..

Although there's break time which you can use to do something out of work..

But I'm talking more about Time for your family..friends..

In the morning, After taking the kids to school I always go back home first..

To make time talking to my husband before he goes to the office..

Then I'll continue my day..

I try my best to go back and forth to pick up all of my 4 kids from school myself..

Just for the sake, talking to them about what they did at school that day..

Even though that means..

More gas..

And running myself to work in the afternoon..

At night, after work..

I give time talking to my kids..

While they're preparing for school the next day..

And for my twins, while accompanying them to sleep..

And if I still got the energy, talking with my husband afterwards..

My friends and cousins..

I'll make time whenever they have time..

and wanna hang out together..

Not that often, yet most of the time it's an intense chat..

My parents and parents in law, Every weekend that's make-possible for me to be at their place..

I miss my time with my siblings a bit though..

Don't have enough time for them as I wanted to..

And as I used to..

Due to each schedules and distance..

And it feels great..

Whenever you push a distance..

To make time for people and things that's important..

And enjoying that time..

Making the best of that time..

Have a great time with your love ones!!